ABCs of Parenting by Gouri Dange

Author:Gouri Dange
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9788179928202
Publisher: Jaico Publishing House
Published: 2012-08-04T04:00:00+00:00

m for mealtimes

There is an unstated, deeply beneficial aspect to family meals – food for body and soul.

In the last few decades, one aspect of family life that children have simply lost out on, is sit-down, everyone-together meals. It’s time we ‘re-invested’ in this simple family interaction, making time for at least one meal a day together. Family meal times are associated with healthier diets, even better absorption of nutrients. You’ll be surprised at what far-reaching effects this has on your kids’ emotional and physical health, social skills, and overall well-being. Pleasant meal-times together play a pivotal role in preventing various digestive and eating disorders – which have reached epidemic proportions amongst the young.

The unstated warmth and togetherness of a family meal can begin right from the kitchen, with the family helping with small tasks in putting the meal together. Laying the table (something of a ritual in most traditional cultures) itself sets the mood of care and love around a meal. It prepares mind and body, setting gastric juices flowing, and drawing your attention to the meal to come instead of a hundred other distractions.

Sitting down together for a meal ensures, quite naturally, that much considerate behaviour comes into play. Simple things: like eating without spilling or making chewing sounds, seeing that there’s enough for everyone else before serving yourself, passing food to the other people, etc. All the stuff for which today we seem to need ‘finishing schools’ to teach our kids, but which can so easily be learnt right at the table!

One thing that can mar this potentially wonderful family interaction is what we choose to talk about or communicate during meal times. The entire interaction can become an uncomfortable one, if we use this time together to bicker or sort out unpleasant personal issues.

Some typical scenarios that we’re all familiar with:

At the dinner table, Dad uses the fact that he’s sitting face-to-face with his kids, to ask them about school work, marks, exams…If there’s nothing great to report, the children side-step the question, or reluctantly reveal their school progress. Needless to say, the child has stopped paying attention to the meal, leave aside enjoying it. Others around the table are tense too. The family meal has been emotionally hijacked.

The family is at breakfast. Mom is issuing instructions to the maid, checking if some work has got done, asking Dad if he can make it for some appointment in the evening; Grandpa has some comment to make – the three of them get into a minor argument. All this while, food is being consumed – but it is food that’s soaked in a gravy of grumbling. Hardly the stuff of health and well-being.

It’s lunch time. The family is eating. In complete silence. Everyone is totally preoccupied with their own lives, plans and worries. They are only physically present around the table. As they finish, each person simply gets up from his or her seat and ‘exits’ the meal – as indifferently as one exits a computer program. The meal has turned into a joyless affair.

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